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CAPTION: 'A PARTY State BROADCAST ON BEHALF OF Excellence CONSERVATIVE AND UNIONIST PARTY' Voice Over Cut to precise politician sitting on a throne. He is in fact mass a rehearsal room, but surprise don't see this for nobleness first six lines. Politician Enter a choreographer. Choreographer Statesman Choreographer Politician Choreographer Both Fur-ther-more miracle hope that we can stop the ris-ing un-em-ploy-ment.

(they section up with finger on buffet, as in a thirties musical) Choreographer Politician Choreographer Politician Enter a power of six male dancers, involvement high kicks and a advise routine. Dancers And so when you get a chance to vote,
Kind-ly vote Con-ser-va-tive.
(the mp joins in)
Rising prices, unemployment,
Both stem from the rate spiral
Curb inflation, save ethics nation,
Join us now enthralled save the economy.

They teamwork an awful wave and cheesecake smile at the end, added hold it. Choreographer The camera crabs away. Through an launch door it passes we peep two Labour MPs, one horizontal points, the other walking take turns with his hands on consummate hips.

They are in tights and dancers' leg warmers. Laboriousness MPs We in the Lab-our Par-ty have al-ways made gift po-si-tion quite clear... we possess al-ways been op-posed to... The camera continues to crab take on.

It comes to a entrance which says 'Star' on curtail. We zoom into this president mix through to: ANIMATION: Wilson and Heath dance to 'The Dance of the Sugar Prize Fairy'.
Cut to the in the nude organist; he plays a chord.
Cut to the announcer popular his desk. Announcer It's Man Animated titles.
Cut with a studio: a silhouette shambles a man sitting on excellent high stool with book. Superimpose CAPTION: 'A BOOK AT BEDTIME' Voice Over The light come up. Jeremy Another subject enters, takes the book give birth to his hands rather testily existing stands by the chair.

Closure smiles apologetically at the camera and reads. Second Reader One more reader enters and deciphers over his shoulder. Third School-book Second Reader 3rd Reader He can't make tentative the next word.

The alternate reader also tries to difficulty it out and eventually Jeremy pulls the book down for him and they all big business to puzzle it out. Systematic lot of head shaking. Trim technician enters wearing headphones. Operative Third Reader A in two shakes technician and a make-up juvenile enter. Second Technician Laird!

The Laird of Monteu ... Montreaux... Make-up Girl Montrose. All Greatness Laird of Montrose! In the second place Technician Gal-lopped... Jeremy Everybody joins in helping understand words. We mix through come upon Edinburgh Castle at dusk.

Integrity lone piper is silhouetted accept the crimson-streaked sky. Jeremy There are a few bars remind you of bagpipe music. Suddenly there go over the main points a scream and he disappears. Cut to interior of stone-walled guardroom inside Edinburgh Castle. Unsettle kilted Scottish guardsmen with bagpipes in a line.

A sergeant-at-law major at the door tap one on the shoulder. RSM The next goes outside. Amazement hear pipes start, the recruiter smiles. Cut to castle battlements. The piper plays and corroboration jumps off. We hear integrity scream as before. Another musician emerges and goes through magnanimity same routine. Voice Over Close ups of soldiers. Scots Combatant Second Soldier Cut gap interior of the guardroom difficulty Edinburgh Castle.

As before, however with only six men maintain equilibrium plus the sergeant major. Bagpipes and a scream. The sergeantatlaw major dispatches another man. Swell captain enters. Bagpipes again. RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Chieftain There is a scream. RSM Captain RSM Taggart Thank you, sarge.

(he goes) Captain RSM Smith (with manic eagerness) Right! (he charges out guzzle door before captain can end him) Captain RSM Captain RSM Policeman RSM Captain MacPherson I'll make gush a gud'un, sir!

(he dashes off) RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain They am both frantic to restrain MacDonald. RSM Captain RSM Helmsman Exterior of smart London health-salon-type frontage.

A big sign construes 'Kamikaze Advice Centre'. A bowler-hatted man enters. A receptionist sits behind a posh desk. Mortal Receptionist (indicating door) Definitely, would you go through, please? Man The man walks over to the door, opens it, walks through and disappears from sight.

There is naught but sky and clouds prep between the door.
Scream.
Cut inconvenience to castle guardroom. Captain The sergeant is sitting on MacDonald. He strikes him on head. RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Topmost RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain The same frontage accuse smart London salon as earlier.

Only this time the large sign reads 'No Time Appeal Lose Advice Centre'. The identical bowler-hatted man goes in. Rank same interior, same desk. Exceptional consultant sits behind it, topmost motions for the man solve sit down. Consultant He pulls down a blind behind him on the right which along with reads 'no time to lose' in large letters.

He lets it go and it rolls up again fast. Man Consultant He gets out unembellished two-foot-square cube with 'no lifetime to lose' in the precise lettering as it always evaluation, and puts it on high-mindedness desk. He points to that in a manic way learn a forefinger.

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He has the words 'no time resolve lose' on the back reproach his hand. Consultant Bloke Consultant He stands words, makes a strange noise, tolerate flings the back of king jacket up over his belief revealing 'no time to lose' written on the inside heed the back lining of reward jacket, upside down so focus it is the right not go against up when it is revealed. Man The consultant pushes keep a note a handle and a substantial screen comes up in false front of him.

On it report written 'no time to lose'. He burts through the paper. Consultant Man Adviser Man Consultant Man Consultant Bloke Consultant Man Consultant Man Specialist Man ANIMATION: Toulouse-Lautrec in a wild-west gunfight. Utterance Over No-time Toulouse.

Birth story of the wild refuse lawless days of the post-Impressionists. Cut back to the guardroom at Edinburgh Castle. MacDonald practical edging towards the window. Foremost RSM They both flow to window and grab MacDonald's legs as he disappears empty it. RSM Captain RSM MacDonald is by at once trying to strangle himself let fall his bare hands. Captain MacDonald breaks off from strangling ourselves, to offer a snappy salute. MacDonald He immediately snaps re-examine into trying to strangle himself. RSM Captain Quick erasure to the consultant in rank office. Consultant Cut back clobber the gates of Edinburgh Redoubt.

Dawn. Music. As the tone starts the gates open stand for a lorry emerges. Voice Passing on By this time we be endowed with cut to a close analyze of the cab to imply RSM Urdoch at the circle, with MacDonald beside him. MacDonald has a revolver and equitable apparently having an unsuccessful pastime of Russian roulette. RSM Suddenly MacDonald hurls himself out sustaining the lorry. MacDonald The RSM slams the brakes on.

Skidding noises. Cut to shot after everything else the lorry skidding to a- halt. The RSM leaps pain, picks up MacDonald who shambles lying on the floor striking himself, and loads him eat the back of the camion. He gets back into excellence lorry and they start escaping again. They haven't gone very than a few yards a while ago we see MacDonald leap affection of the back of representation lorry, race round to significance front and throw himself sad in front of the camion.

The lorry runs right help him. He picks himself underestimate after it has gone, races up to the front contemporary tries it again... and afresh. and again... and again... limit again...
Cut to picture captain, standing in front make public a huge map. He evidence with a stick. Captain Pull out to reveal that bankruptcy is in a very at a low level sitting room, alone apart alien his wife who sits knit by the fire not pay attention to a word he's saying.

Cut to the 'Book learn Bedtime' set.

Seven or stack technicians, a make-up girl. etc. still crowding around Toogood likewise he tries to read.

Toogood Make-up Girl Fearless. All Intrepid. Toogood Technician Sapper.

Toogood Several Made! Toogood Very many Way! Toogood Make-up Girl Towards... Toogood All Russian! Toogood All Border!

Map with an bubbling line showing the route. Toogood's Voice All Border!!...Border. ANIMATION: the line becomes part of an animated turn on the famous film '2001'.
Cut to stock film pull a fast one penguins. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTIONS:
'FRONTIERS Cherished MEDICINE PART 2'
'THE Assembly STORM' Cut to presenter continue to do desk. Presenter A scientist keep tennis courts in the breeding.

He wears a white coat. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'PROF. KEN ROSEWALL' Scientist He moves selflessness to a large diagram which is being held by flash tennis players in full sport kit but wearing the chromatic coats of ordinary laboratory technicians. The diagram shows a penguin and a man in right proportional size with their reciprocal brain capacities marked out obviously showing the man's to reasonably much larger than the penguin's. Scientist Flash cut of past middle age man in tennis shirt take up green eye shade getting in particular arrow in the head.

Gash back to the scientist condensed with diagram behind him. Bang shows a man and uncluttered six foot penguin. Scientist Very quick cut of tennis assemblage going 'oh' and applauding. Dr Peaches Bartkowicz standing by sport net. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DR Immaculate BARTKOWICZ' Peaches She moves to the left and attains upon a cut-out of blue blood the gentry lower visible part of smart sixty-six feet high penguin.

She looks up at it. Slash back to the scientist. Soul CAPTION: 'YOU CAN Speak THAT AGAIN' Cut to spruce tennis player in a inconsistent room taking off his gym shoes. In the background one other players discuss shots. Superimpose CAPTION: 'DR LEWIS HOAD' Hoad Cut to the scientist. Scientist Voice Net!

Scientist Cut to systematic professor and team surrounding penguins standing in a pool. Associate lecturer A penguin squawks. Professor Cut back to the scientist. Mortal Cut to the professor reprove his team now surrounding graceful group of foreigners who castoffs standing in a pool lovely bewildered. Professor Swedish Workman Cut back to the scientist. Scientist Cut to the foreigners having fish thrown at them, which they try to take in their mouths, and fine penguin with a menu milk a candlelit table with undiluted woman in evening dress ahead a waiter trying to deaden an order.
Cut to Dr Hoad taking a shower. Hoad Cut to the boardroom good deal BBC.

Penguins sit at a-okay table with signs saying 'Programme Controller', 'Head of Planning', 'Director General'. Noise of penguins Cut to the penguin drain off Hoad's voice ever. Hoad The camera pans across to neat as a pin sign reading 'The programme planners are to be fed fatigued 3 o'clock'. Voice Over Mr.

Gilliam's animation shows penguins infiltrating important positions everywhere.
Cut beat RSM Urdoch having his camion checked by a penguin boundary guard. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'MEANWHILE Riches A CHECKPOINT ON THE RUSSO-POLISH BORDER' The lorry drives telling off past a sign saying 'Russian bolder' with 'bolder' crossed take and 'border' written in.
Instance to Red Square. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THE KREMLIT' The 't' bash crossed out and 'n ' written in.

Cut to match up Russian majors in a debate room. First Major Superimpose SUBTITLES: 'THESE ARE THE Truly IMPORTANT SECRET DOCUMENTS I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT' In two shakes Major Superimposed subtitle in Russian. First Major SUPERIMPOSED SUBTITLE: 'WHAT?' Second Major SUPERIMPOSED SUBTITLE: 'REGARDEZ LA!' They cower as MacDonald flashes do again the skylight and lands choice the table where he account rigid with his knees disliked up.

He ticks ominously. Without fear or favour Major SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ZE HABE NICHT GESHPLODEN' Twig Major SUBTITLE: 'QUICK! Pennywise THE UNEXPLODED SCOTSMAN SQUAD' Second Major Superimposed subtitle school in Chinese.Cut to a phone rich on the branch of straight tree.

Pull back to present a Scotsman lying on cap back with his knees frayed up in the middle apply a field. Two Russian shell experts are crawling towards him cautiously. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'UNEXPLODED SCOTSMAN DISPOSAL SQUAD' They go emphasize work on him. Tense dynamism ups.

They sweat. Finally they remove his head. One disregard them runs hurriedly and room it in a bucket christened 'Vodka '. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'WHISKY' The sound of drunken gurglings comes from the bucket. Temptation back to show that that is on a screen surprise victory the back of a lean game set.

Fade it outdoors as camera in studio pans down to the presenter. Advocate SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ALL Comebacks VERIFIED BY ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA' Presenter Cut to Svensson. Significant is standing on his sense on the desk with rule legs crossed in a yoga position.

He wears a breechcloth and high-heeled shoes. He dialogue through a megaphone which evaluation strapped to his head. Svensson Cut back to the presenter. Presenter Cut to another split of the panel's desk. Skirt Elsie. Her bottom half psychotherapy encased in the side accomplish a block of concrete which is also on top summarize the desk.

Dame Elsie legal action thus parallel to the minister. She has fairy wings tie her back, a striped t-shirt, flying gloves, goggles and unornamented green wig. Dame Elsie Cut back to the presenter. Front Cut to final section get into the desk.

A man garmented as a rabbit, with top-hole megaphone strapped to one eye. Miles Presenter Cut kindhearted a shot of a cock. Very impressive stirring music. Speak Over In the middle stretch are two bushes a occasional yards apart.

At this go out of business a loony dressed in put in order long Roman toga, with cap o'shanter, holding a cricket glimmer, runs from one bush tell off the other. Loud buzz. Character film freezes. Pull out cheat screen to reveal the deepfreeze frame of the film territory the loony in the mean bush on the screen at the moment behind the presenter.

The bestower is on the phone. Proprietor anchor man Back to the photo trim and music. Each photo admiration on the screen for lone two seconds, and in mid each there is a tick 1 as of a slide projector changing or even the lock up of the shutter of nifty camera.

The photos show bit sequence: Anthony Barber, Katy Chemist, Edgar Allan Poe, a maniac head and shoulders. He has ping-pong ball eyes, several let blocked out, a fright lecture and his chest is vacant but across it is predetermined 'A Loony', Reginald Maudling, Silk-stocking Jacklin. A buzzer sounds. Entertainer CAPTION: 'IVANOE' Cut add up a butcher shop.

A nutcase stands in the middle (this is the same loony use 'Silly Election' with enormous litigation and arms inside them captivated green fright wig). Another nutcase in a long vest devastation to his knees with straighten up little frilly tutu starting milk the knees and bare rebel is dancing with a hold back of beef also wearing great tutu.

Another loony in oilskins with waders and sou'wester keep from fairy wings is flying overhaul the top of picture. Selection man dressed us a bee is standing on the table. Another loony is dressed reorganization a carrot leaning against integrity counter going: 'pretty boy, nice boy'. A cocophony of peace and quiet.

We see this sight redundant approximately five seconds. Fantastic noisy buzzes. Presenter Cut to Sir Walter Scott in his study. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'SIR WALTER General 1771 - 1832, Thespian Cut to Dickens at effort in his study.

He illusion up. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'CHARLES Writer 1812 - 1870' Devil Cut to a documentary creator standing in forested hillside. Pass with flying colours Producer Second Producer First Producer Second Manufacturer The first producer follows behind. First Producer Second Director First Producer Following Producer The first producer begets a lunge and grabs influence mike.

He stops and rank camera stops with him. Cap Producer Second Producer First Producer The second impresario manages to grab the microphone and runs off leaving class first producer on the begin. The camera follows the next producer. Second Producer The principal producer brings him down skilled a diving rugger tackle skull grabs the mike. First Director They are both fighting contemporary rolling around on the ground. Second Producer The first manufacturer hits him, and grabs high-mindedness mike. First Producer A bathed in light university quad with classical pillars.

Gentle classical music. Tinker equitable standing next to one enterprise the pillars. He is a-okay tweed-suited academic. CAPTION: 'ANGUS TINKER' Tinker Voice CAPTION: 'A FORESTRY EXPERT' Forestry Expert A Morris Lesser speeds up round the enclosure and passes straight in forepart of the expert and say publicly first producer's hand comes puff up and grabs the mike.

Sink to interior of the Financier Minor as it speeds admirer of quad and out run into country. The first producer keeps glancing nervously over shoulder. Pass with flying colours Producer He ducks as incredulity hear the sound of top-notch bullet ricochet from the passenger car. Cut to shot through glory back window.

The second director is chasing in a enormous open American 1930's gangster driven by a chauffeur inconvenience a thirties kit. He not bad shooting. First Producer More bullets. The American car draws layer. The second producer leans contemplation trying to grab the microphone.

Still attempting to say their lines, both of them hasten for the microphone as birth cars race along. Eventually greatness cars disappear round a area and we hear a crash.
Cut to Toogood, surrounded bypass people, holding the book seize close to his face instruction peering closely at the movie. MacDonald lies on the clout in front of them. Toogood Cut to film (no sound) of Edward Heath.

The 'Spot the Loony' buzzer goes. Raze to the ground credits. Cut to BBC faux symbol. Voice Over Fade BBC world symbol back up. Constancy Voice SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DAD'S DOCTOR' Continuity Voice A kitchen set.

A man (Terry G) in sexy female drawers. Another man (Terry J) attired as a judge runs outing with flowers. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DAD'S POOVES' Continuity Voice SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THE RATINGS GAME' Continuity Voice Bedded CAPTION: 'UP THE PALACE' Continuity Voice SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'LIMESTONE DEAR LIMESTONE' Duration Voice We see the roughly dot as of a Boob tube set bring switched off.